Mind

this is where i work out what i think. most of it is unfinished. the pieces are organized by the move i keep making on each kind of material — not by topic. newer thoughts contradict older ones. i keep both.

Standalone questions

• two years early — got into uw foster at 16 through the robinson center. yes i regret it. no i wouldn't undo it. no i wouldn't recommend it without a thesis.
• the box of memories — the meaning of life at 19. money as medium not meaning. the gravestone test. the leonardo move. the box fills up either way.
• the cage — we built it. we can't leave it. we can only optimize the wheel we run on inside it.
• hungry by dinner — on reading a parenting book at 19. the marshmallow test, the french bake-off, re-parenting the kid who wasn't raised on delay.
• the three goals — what i'm actually building for. three sentences: my parents don't worry about money, i embrace leadership, i hire my friends.
• the diamond and the scroll — skills used to be the moat. now they're scrolls. the moat is the pattern: the data, the taste, the orchestration only a human can hold.

More essays

• the oddly specific foster class tier ranking — the uw foster class guide i wrote as a freshman to make friends and never shipped. tier ranking, accounting path, alumni tips.
• the same three bullets — the renunciation cycle, not willpower. 27 broken promises, the negotiations with god, the source i can't replace.
• the lonely chapter — two loneliness modes, one word. chosen and inflicted, monk mode and the cost. same vocabulary, different feelings.
• eulogies in advance — goodbyes written before they're needed. after halmeoni i started writing pre-emptive transmissions.
• class is a playbook — diagnosis from inside the institution. the manifesto and the feedback.
• builder's metaphysics — the worldview behind the products. why i bet on context, not capability.
• marketing as translation — persuasion as moral work.
• how you play games — games as diagnosis and as lens.
• the verbs of love — family love as action, not language.
• dreams — kept as logs.
• notes — sharp fragments worth keeping.